Sepet in The City

a walk of life…

divorced happily ever after

on May 18, 2010

Divorce can mean a lot of things—hurtful accusations, broken dreams, ugly custody battles, expensive legal fees. I would like to ask if we need to stop treating divorce as an end—and instead start thinking of it as the beginning of something else.

I divorced when I was 25 years old. Though it was a very difficult thing to go through as a newlywed at that time, I believe that— divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me. Both of us were the two people who probably never should have been together in the first place, and i found myself to be very unhappy as a couple with him. If at a certain point, after having exerted effort to try to make amends, a couple finds they have irreconcilable differences with one another, perhaps the best thing to do is separate. Don’t take this to mean I’m some kind of advocate for divorce; I just don’t think it should be perceived as always being negative.

Sometimes, it’s just the right thing. After my breakup with my Prince Harming, I consciously chose to psyche myself up about my new life plan by owning the following as my empowering belief system: “I’m happy to be over this relationship with my now ex-Prince Harming because I know the lessons I’m choosing to learn are going to lead me into the arms of a much better life partner! My new, improved life plan is gonna beat out of that old one!”

After a challenging breakup or divorced, I suggest that every time you find yourself tempted to think negative thoughts, you return to the lessons that you’ve thankfully learned. If you find yourself with a pesky, self-flagellating thought spree rampaging through your mind, you can stop these thoughts by asking yourself the following question: “Are these thoughts I am now thinking leading me forward to finding more happiness—or backward to feeling more anger, shame and hopelessness? Sometimes, a breakup leads to a breakdown and then a breakthrough—helping you to discover who and what you need to live your happiest, most fulfilling life!

• Thanks to my Prince Harming Teacher, I learned I need to start to especially value finding a man with the following values:

a) Handsome / Good looking / Trendy and up-to-date (so dat mata tarak sakit, hati juga tarak sakit!) haha

b) Talkative and funny (so dat I won’t get easily bored cuz I always do)

c) Not a stingy person a.k.a. not kedekut la…with his own wifey

d) Strong a.k.a. gagah perkasa as a man and as a husband (u know what I mean ryte? Haha)

e) Loving f) Creative and innovative (as I always love surprises!)


3 responses to “divorced happily ever after

  1. CoroorenNox says:

    Just want to say what a great blog you got here!
    I’ve been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!

    Thumbs up, and keep it going!

    Christian,Earn Free Vouchers / Cash

  2. cu734ngel says:

    soo agreeing with you…being divorced is not the end of the world…its actually a start to many new and perhaps interesting things…kudos for the courage and strength for having the guts to write this…really2 admire u la kak ummul..:) insyAllah..there is always a rainbow after a storm kan?:) and stay strong…muuuah love ya..and keep on blogging…just soo love reading ur bebelan…ehehehe

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